| Is There Anything To Do Here?? | ||
Saturday, March 26, 2005When to stopThe only reason I am writing about Terri Shivo is that the news coverage here in Jax is stuck on the case. Jax news is either weather or Shivo. Personally my family and I have had too much experience with hospice care / death and dying. My great grandfather, grandfather on both sides died quickly of the typical heart attack. My dad is the first male in his family to live past 52. My great grandmother, grandmother, and my mother died slowly. Each died from separate causes and under different circumstances. The one thing I take away from these tragedies is that at some point the body remains alive but the person is asleep inside. I think this is a primeval defense mechanism. Terri’s parents cling to the slim hope that their child will snap out of it and return to some standard of normal life after 15 years. It is not really my place to say what is the best way but Terri’s family can’t begin to grieve until Terri moves on. Terri is in a state I liken to sleepwalking. Yes it’s not exactly the same but similar. Her eyes might open and voice may sound but Terri is somewhere else. My mother was like this for several months. She did briefly wakeup and had absolutely not idea what had take place the previous 4 months. (The books about this sort of thing say it is common and is a way for the dying to say goodbye.) Than as quickly as she woke up she was sleepwalking again and slipped away a few days later. I think Terri is in a similar state but went past the wakeup and did not slipway. So she is stuck in that in-between place. She cant wakeup, can’t move on but does not experience time and is in general unaware of her surroundings. For Terri living this way is probably not horrible but for those who care for her it is. Watching a loved one perish in front of you is not something I wish on anyone. People react in different ways but keeping Terri alive like this only lengthens the family’s suffering. I can see both sides the feelings of helplessness and powerlessness are at times overwhelming. Wanting to reach in and fix your mom, daughter, wife can be hard to overcome. Letting go of your own inadequacies and allowing your loved one to truly move on is the only way to continue your own life even if it is life without someone you love. I guess that brings use to the how. How do you help someone move on? I still wonder why the holy rollers and the moral right don’t allow people to die with the same dignity we readily give pets. Can you imagine if Terri were a German shepherd? How different would the media treat the family if that where the case. Animal rights activist would be all over it. No animal should be forced to live this way. Unfortunately for humans (in this country) don’t have the right to die by humane means. However in this country starving someone to death is ok. Again we wouldn’t do this to a pet. Why do we do it to family? 
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